breakingbag:

yes hello this is your pilot speaking and by pilot i mean i read a wikihow on flying a plane once so i guess ill just have to WING it haha just a little pilot humor okie dokie nothing to worry about folks im sure i can figure this out

the-super-scout:

helioscentrifuge:

runtime-err0r:

itsvondell:

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then

image

yeah wow that’s spot on perfect

my catchphrase

himeros-son-of-aphrodite:

sailor-ramiel:

sora2522:

karenhurley:

This flower shaped confetti contains flower seeds that grow into wildflowers. It is hand made and biodegradable so it leaves no waste. Via

This is actually kinda perfect for outdoor weddings omg

casually reblogging this entire tag lol whoop

you could have your wedding in an empty space next to your house and have a garden to commemorate your marriage omg

ohshititsgreg:

A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke

Lets go somewhere. Anywhere. Away for a while and forget everything.

cassbones:

ecstatic-motion:

My cat brought us a present today.  I have never seen a rabbit SO angry. 

****He was set free 10 minutes after being caught, photographed, and driven to a nearby field :)

"Fuckin cat thinks I’m a fuckin chew toy. Fuckin humans puttin me in a fuckin box with a fuckin carrot like its gonna make this WHOLE SITUATION SO MUCH FUCKIN BETTER! DO I LOOK LIKE BUGS BUNNY TO YOU, FUCKER?!?"

nohetero:

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

cantwaitforpizza:

i can’t stop laughing he’s like what no climb

(Source: vine-gif)

bitrates:

Simple tips to gain my friendship:

1) Have a cat
2) Show me pictures of your cat
3) Invite me over to pet your cat
4) Be a cat

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(Source: bitrates)